He's not Gone
by icywarm
Summary: "You have to accept the facts, L, he's dead. Light will not come home to you." L merely shook his head in defiance. "Watari, I would know if Light as dead. I would feel it. I feel nothing of the sort telling me of Light-kun being dead. Therefore, he is Discontinued.


**I have decided that I will not write the one-shot that I don't like just yet. I just don't feel ready to share my maybe failure wit you all. So here is an idea that I got several hours ago for a fanfic that may or may not be a one-shot. I'll know by the time that I finish typing this chapter. It's also LxLight. And italicized words are Light's memories. So, right after I turn the TV off, I will type.**

**Warning: L's real name. Also, rape. So there will graphic content of the sexual nature.**

"You have to accept the facts, L, he's dead. Light will not come home to you." L merely shook his head in defiance. "Watari, I would know if Light as dead. I would feel it. I feel no thing of the sort telling me of Light-kun being dead. Therefore, he is not. So, I will not leave Japan and I will not stop looking until I have found my husband."

Watari sighed, knowing that L would never let go. "You should visit the boys. They miss you." L was silent for a minute or two. "I can't do that, Watari, what if Light were to come back while I was gone? I would miss him. And I don't want to miss him."

"L Lawliet, he's been missing for over a year. They have found evidence of I fight, and most likely death. There also haven't been any kidnappings with Light as the hostage. He is dead, L, and you're just going to have to except that."

"I'm afraid, that I cannot. I'm sorry, Watari, really, but I just don't believe that Light is dead. What kind of person would I be, if I lost faith in the one I love so easily?'

Watari's eyes softened. "I suppose that you're right on that account. I won't force you to leave Japan. And the boys really do miss you. At least contact them." "Alright, Watari. And, thank you."

_**Scene transition to Mello, Matt, and Near's side.**_

"Mello, Near, L has contacted us. We're supposed to go to Roger's office so we can talk to him," Matt said as he entered the room. "Finally! Matt, don't forget your laptop! Near, get your notes. We have to tell L what we've found! It'll make him so happy!" Mello instantly replied. Both Matt and Near simply followed Mello to Roger's office.

_**Scene transition to L's side of the conversation.**_

"What has you three so excited? It must be big seeing as I can actually see the excitement in Near's eyes?" L asked. "It's because-""We've found Light!" Mello interrupted Matt. "What?" L asked, the excitement of being able to see Light again filling his whole being.

"We've found Light, L. or rather, Mello convinced Matt to hack into every camera in Japan, as well as get back the erased footage until Light was spotted. Than he asked me to do some research so that I could find out why Light hasn't gone back to you, as well as tell no one that he is alive and well."

"Where is Light? What happened? Is he alright?"

"Calm down, L, I have some of the information on my laptop. Near has the rest in his hand written notes," Matt answered. "I can type Near's notes onto Matt's Laptop, then we can send you the information." "Thank you, boys. You don't know how happy I am, knowing that Light is alive and that I'll be seeing him." "You're welcome. L, there is information in my notes that you will not like."

"I see. Thank you, Near."

_**Scene transition to when after L reads the notes.**_

"Light-kun must think that I don't love him, with the information. It must also be a great blow to his pride."

"L, where are you going?" Watari asked, surprised to see L go out. "To help Light-kun."

_**Scene transition to Light. (Also his POV)**_

The doorbell rang. So I know that it isn't Sayu. Sayu has the spare key. I really do have to thank her next time she comes over, for helping me. The doorbell rang again, and I can hear a muffled voice. "Ri-un! Ri-un!"

I slowly walked towards the door, the voice getting clearer with every step, until I could hear it. "Light-kun!"

My eyes widened as I realized, it was L. L had found me. But, I can't face him. I can't. He looks so much like… and, he must hate. L has to know **that **as well. I slowly slinked away from the door. And after five minutes, the doorbell, as well as L's voice, stopped.

_**Scene transition to right outside Light's door.**_

L sat down with a huff. Light wasn't coming to the door. Light didn't want to see him. L knew he was there, the doorknob looked as if it hadn't of been touched for a couple of days. So, Light was home.

"Ryuzaki, is that you?" L turned to see, Sayu. "Sayu-chan, I have a problem." "What is it, Ryuzaki?" "I have recently learned about what happened to Light, as well as where he has been staying, and have come to help him. I know that he is home, but he won't answer the door. Can you help in any way?"

"I can help you get inside. Light gave me the spare key. In fact, I'm the one who's been keeping him alive. He refuses to leave the building, so I pay for the house with my extra money, as well as bring him food. I'll open the door, announce that you are here, but after that, you'll have to help Light. I've tried. I can't get him to let go."

"Thank you, Sayu-chan." "No problem. You are my brother-in-law after all."

_**Scene transition to Light. (Also his POV)**_

The door clicked open. I was about to go greet Sayu when she spoke. "Light, I've let L in." That was it, I heard Sayu leave. Now it's just me, and L.

"Light-kun?"

I stopped breathing and my eyes widened when I caught sight of L. he looks just like him.

"_I've finally found you, Tuski. Or would you prefer to be called Light? Lawlie did pick someone beautiful to take interest in."_

_Lawlie is so close to Lawliet. Does this guy know L? I have a very bad feeling about him. Just my luck to be walking down an alleyway. Why does he look just like L? L with blood-red eyes…_

"I missed you, Light-kun," L said, coming closer and placing a pale hand on my cheek.

_The man stepped closer. Instinctively, I stepped back, my back hitting the wall. "Yes, very beautiful." The L-look-alike placed his pale hand onto my cheek. "And so soft," he purred._

I instantly, pushed L away before backing away. It's too similar. Only their eyes are different. Even the touch was the same. "Light-kun, I'm here to help. I don't care what any man could of done to you." His words didn't register in my mind. The only thing I could think of was getting away. But he was blocking the only exit. There was no way out. I'm trapped.

_I thrust the man away from me. "I don't know who you are or what you want, but I don't want anything to do with you" I attempted to walk away, only to have the man grab my wrist and pull me back. "It seems as if Lawlie also picked a feisty one. I wonder how you'll fell."_

_I tried to pull my arm away, but his grip was like steel. "Let me go." The man merely grinned. "I've decided to call you Moonlight, because you just glow." "Let. Me. Go."_

"_I don't think that I will. I wish to see what Lawlie sees in you."_

_My eyes widened as I got what he was getting at. "No," I whispered. "But yes. You don't have a choice in the matter." The man yanked me to the ground and effectively pinned me there. I couldn't get out. There was no way I could escape what was about to happen. I'm trapped._

"NO! Get away!" I waved my arm back and forth, trying to scare the man away, but it didn't work. He merely came closer. "Light-kun, it's me, L. don't you recognize me?" I just stared at the man, my eyes wide in fear. He wasn't L. L. wouldn't have done what had happened. Maybe, if I attacked him, I could create enough of a distraction to get away.

I lunged at the man blocking my only exit, no plan n mind other than to get away. But, before I could register what was happening, the man had pinned me to the ground, holding me so that I could not move. Just like before. I struggled to get away, but his grip did not loosen. "Not again, please." I whispered. "Why would I do anything like that to you, Light?"

_The man used one hand to hold both of mine above my head. The man shifted s that he as no longer pinning me to the ground, but straddling my waist. I once again tried to escape, only to find that, just like the last attempt, I could not._

_The man used his free hand to unbutton my shirt. He leaned forward, and before I could say anything, he kissed my chest. I gasped as his tongue moved up and down, teasing me. "S-stop it!" Yet he did not. Slowly, he moved up, until he saw kissing the crook of my neck. I gasped again as the man's wet tongue licked the base of my neck. "S-stop! Please!" It's not right. This person wasn't L._

_The man ignored me as he sucked my neck, no doubt leaving a hickey. The man sat back up, still straddling me. "I guess that I'm starting to see why Lawlie likes you so much. But, its not enough." The man used his free hand to rip the rest of my shirt off, completely ruining it, before doing the same with my pants. I'm alone in an alleyway, in only my boxers, with a man I do not know on top of me._

"Go away. I don't want it. Please." "Light-kun, it's me, L. Please, recognize me. I'm here to help. Everything will be alright." "You're not L. L would never do anything like that." And nothing would ever be alright. Never again would L love me. He has to be disgusted me with. I was powerless to stop him. I did nothing.

"Light-kun, I promise you that that was not me. I **am **L. Please believe me." I can't though. Not when he's doing this. How come he was able to trick Sayu? She's smarter than what most people think.

I struggled again. I just **had **to get away. Go anyway else. Anywhere! Away from this man, even if I never saw anyone I knew ever again. "Let me go! I have to get away! Please! Just let me go!" "Light-kun, calm down! I'm not doing anything! I'm here to help. Calm down and recognize me!"

_I struggled. "Let me go! I'm not going to do anything with you!" "Shhh, Moonlight, you don't have a choice. I want to see what Lawlie likes in you, whether you want me to or not." The man repositioned himself so that I was still trapped to the ground, but one of his knees was in my crotch._

_Then, the man started to rub my crotch with his knee, causing me to moan. "That's right, Moonlight, you can't do anything to stop me." I clamped my mouth shut and bit my bottom lip so that I couldn't give this man the pleasure of controlling me. He only smiled a little too sweetly and kept rubbing my crotch in response._

_Soon, I was completely erect. "Now, we can start the fun!" he exclaimed as if he were a child about to open a birthday gift. I was powerless to stop him as he used his free hand to pull down my boxers. My yes went wide as he pulled out several ropes from behind a trashcan._

_First, he tied my hands together, before tying the remainder of the rope to a pole. Then, the man forcibly flipped me over, so that my erection was forced painfully into the cement. The man ripped my left leg away from the ball I had curled into, securing it to another pole, before doing the same with my right. The next think I knew, a blindfold was tied over my eyes. I was blindfolded and tied up, naked, by a man I didn't even know. A man who looked just like the man I love._

I screamed. Surely a neighbor would hear and call the cops, right? "Light-kun, quit screaming." This man, who looked so much like L demanded. I did not. The man clamped a hand over my mouth. This surprised me. Last time, he had been so eager to hear my screams…

_I could hear the man's cloths slide off his body and onto the cold, hard cement. "Are, you ready, Moonlight?" I didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer. Then, the man was on top of me. And, without warning, he entered. I couldn't stop the scream from escaping my lips. It wasn't gentle at all. It hurt!_

"_Yes, scream just like that. Its music to my ears." I tried not to scream again, but found myself unable not to. He slammed into me, every thrust bringing more pain than pleasure. Whoever he was, he wasn't gentle at all. The man laughed insanely._

"_Yes! I think I finally see what Lawlie sees in you! It truly is beautiful!" The man continued to cackle, still slamming in until he ejaculated. I felt both his semen and my blood leek out of my ass._

"E-L?" I asked, unsure. He nodded. "Yes, Light-kun, it's me, L." "Please, get off." "Of course, Light-kun." As soon as L got off of me, I clung to him, my face buried into his chest, sobbing.

"It'll be alright, Light-kun, it wasn't your fault, and I still love you." I just sobbed harder. L still loved me, even, even after I was **raped**? As if reading my thoughts, L answered. "I will always love you, Light-kun, even if you broke my heart and killed me. I would love you if you cheated on me. I will love you in life and in death. And I love you, even though you were raped." Come to think of it, it was the man who put those thoughts into my head.

"_I wonder how Lawlie will think of you now. You've been defiled by me. You will never reclaim what I have taken. Lawlie will hate you, once he figures out that you're his first, and he's not yours." No, L will love me no matter what, won't he?_

"_Just think about how you took it. Moaning when I made you erect. Screaming when I told you to scream. You didn't even __**really **__fight back. You practically bent over and took it. Lawlie will take that as 'I liked it.' You liked someone else as your first, and liked it."_

"_N-no! L would understand. He would, he would-""Hate you? Of course he will! Lawlie won't understand. How could he ever understand when he doesn't know the real world? He doesn't even go out to get his own sweets. He sends Watari."_

_The man, he has a point. L may solve cases, but t didn't mean that he understood the very real chance that something could happen and that I would be powerless to stop it. I could feel the ropes and blindfold being taken off. "Good bye, Moonlight, tell Lawlie I say hi."_

"H-he knows you, and wants me to tell you that h-he say hi." L stiffened a bit. "Light-kun, I need you t tell me exactly what he said." I didn't want to remember, but L's tone held a hint of fear. Something very bad might happen if I don't tell him.

_**Scene transition. 3**__**rd**__** person omniscient.**_

It was a moment or two before Light answered. "He said: Good bye, Moonlight, tell Lawlie I say hi." L froze as a million thoughts went through his head, but only one was clear. B was back. "B is back." "What do you mean, L?" "Light-kun, B is back." L didn't even try to hide the fear in voice. "I barely stopped him in LA. And there were all the instances at Wammy's. Now, he's back."

Light was really worried. The person who had done that to him was someone L had known personally, and scared him enough to actually make L not mask the fear. "L?" "We have to leave, now. Go back to the taskforce, and have Watari set up extra surveillance." "I don't want to go outside." "I'll be with you the whole time." Light merely nodded.

Little did they know, B was already inside of Taskforce headquarters.

**I have decided that this will either be a two-shot or a three-shot, with very little chances of it going any farther than that. So, this was the first time ever that I have written anything in the sexual nature, and I would really appreciate if you tell me how I did. I think I did a good job, considering I had to look up how to spell straddling, misspelled ejaculated, (thank you for spell check) and skim read through lemons in the fics I read because I cannot read them. I suppose I might be able to read them now though. First review gets a virtual cookie. All reviews for ay of my fics will now get their names mentioned in the author's note of said fics. This was also originally going to be Light with amnesia, but as you can see, that idea morphed into this. I have 9 one-shots (not counting those already written and the one I was supposed to type up instead of this) a two-shot, 2 multi-chapter fics (that are not up), and 13 fanfic ideas. So, I'll be busier on , if I can figure out what I want to do. It is 9 minutes to 5 in the morning, I need to save an upload this, and I am not tired but will go to bed anyway. Good bye.**


End file.
